)
The 'various artist's' being the likes of Mrs Cakehead, Jim Macdougall and Ceramic Hobs, all of whom I've heard of, and names such as Shoddy & Mungo. Lode Runner, Bla, Socteau-Cirque,The Argos Fiasco... (shall I go on?) of whom I haven't. Strange how the whole CD sounds as if it is the work of just one. Over eager personality trying to show off their ability to turn their talented hand to almost any genre! Well, it is high quality, my 'big one' never lies... never!! Here we have beat driven rythmic electronics sounding at times like a cybernetic Misa Luba [1], a brief leaning toward Esplendor Geometrico, a little of Gyorgy Ligeti's (The Maestro!) 1960's electronic experimentation [2], Jon Pertwee period Doctor Who incidental music and Space Age Bachelor Pad seduction ditties [3] that would have your freshly caught teenage prey (should you so prefer the 'older woman') a'fleeing the premises in no time at all. Good heavens, there's even some of the hated 'dub' within these bitty-wits. Altogether not my kind of thing, I detested Kraftwerk, but it should bring orders pouring through the Fiend HQ letter box once word (although probably not mine) gets around.
In certain places it has that late 1960's early 1970's feel, so listen to this and stare into your Mathmos lava lamp whilst taking a 1960's hallucinogenic drug of your choice. I'm backing Britain.
All in all, a fairly mixed bag of nut's but professional non-the-less. Why can't all my reviews be as straight-forward as this?
Oh, and isn't that 'Goblins' spooky chant in Argento's 'Deep Red'? [4] No, I'm not being rude!
Notes
Missa Luba/Missa Criola dbl LP 1976 Philips 6641 867
Gyorgy Ligeti - Aventures (1962) and Nouvelles Aventures (1962/ 65) on the Wergo CD WER 60 045-50. I don't know if Easy - Peasy Salonen has had a go at re-recording these classics, would be interesting, don't you think? Oh fuck off then!
The Exotic Moog Of Space Age Bachelor Pad Music. Odd one this. It's to be found on the Hanatarash CD 'Live!! 88 Feb 21 Antiknock Tokyo' (1992 MoM-001 MoM' n' DaD) selected and 'disk raped' by Naohiro Ukawa. If you want anymore info I'm afraid I'm gonna start charging, money or sex, I don't care which, so long as there's plenty of it.
Deep Red - Director Dario Argento 1975 (my bitch pissed off to Italy in 1995 and all I got was a 'Profondo Rosso' T-shirt. It's true!
RANDOM NUMBER "Cantilever"
Fiend | CD 055 | CD-R
Pointless. Instead, here's a chirpy Christmas carol I wrote in 1995 when there still seemed to be some reason left to carry on living. Please note, when I use the word 'eye' I am referring to the eye of your (my, his, her's, their's...) penis. I'd rather have a sodden little honeypot myself but bog, in his infinite wisdom, decided that I'd be better off having a slug stuck between my legs instead. Bastard. Here's my carol...
"The holy in the eye,
push it in all the way,
then yank it out and rip the flesh,
a Christmas dicky wrecked today."
)
OK, bla, bla, bla, "Random Number (Matt Robson) lives in Leeds and makes music on his own..." He has the "...youthfull looks of a Nu-Metal teenager...) Ha! I'd like to see how he looks when he reaches my age, 42, and thank fuck I won't be around! Thank fuck! "...involved in many Leeds bands over the last nine years" ... Christ, you'd think he'd have learned at least something in all that time! Track 1, 'It's just not helping' (you can say that again) sounds like an electronic rendition of that odd music made by retards on an old washboard, a couple of spoons and dirty hands a 'bangin' on dopy table tops. Not that this kind of thing couldn't sound good. It's just, well... it's just that this doesn't. I can envisage it all on Pornographic Peter, ultra horny Konnie saying "Take it away kids!" and our luscious little smartly uniformed angels from some hoity-toity posh school let, er, 'rip' I guess is the word. Hmmm...as De Sade indicated, "the lengths a man has to go to these days to obtain a discharge." Frightful.
Track 2, 'Booty Test' is even worse. Who got a Casio keyboard for last, last xmas then? Track 5 is thee experimental sound attempt, 'Cornflake'. Fuck. Right, next track 'Cantilever' does start to show a little promise, so it's not all bad, but whilst I agree with the Punk ethic of anyone-can-do-it... sure, but not everyone can do it and make it worth the effort to anyone else but themselves, their parents and their twatish mates. It's like watching cam-corder footage of babies (yuk!) and kids in the garden and holidays at CenterParks and stinky pets... ok for the prick who shot this crap, and his flea-bitten group, but no one else really gives a shit. 21st centaury and too many useless fucking apes have been given too much run-away technology, I'm afraid. We're on track 6 now. Another reviewer would have thrown this out of the CD player by now. Not me. I shall listen to this all the way through, I never give up... never!! Track 8 'Acid with your tea sir' is at least amusing, it has the spark of life. So, this is why they shut all the mental hospitals... too many hypo-mania sufferers 'going it' in the music room. Couldn't stand the pace you see. Oh, now it gets daft again, and to think that in one issue of Time Out in 1985 John Gill said that Whitehouse sounded like "... 40 minutes of a Baboon playing with an amplified generator..," I wonder what he would have said about this? Something positive probably. That's the way it goes.
Can I take any more? I've got to, just got to..."Come on, come on baby, we've got to make it, we've just got to..." Thunderbirds was great! Track 12 'Not Alpha' gives us another ray of hope but it's not enough this far in to save the day.
I'm tired, it's late, I've got my whole life ahead of me, I'm not being paid for this so why am I doing it? Too much of a nice guy, too good for this sick and wicked world. Are there school-girls in heaven, mummy? Do they take their uniforms with them? And yes Alex, 'You took the candy, now get in the god damn car' is 'They're gonna moan in Cologne'.
Pointless
snail mail ddress:
Fiend Recordings
18 Canal Road,
Sowerby Bridge
West Yorkshire
HX6 2AY
ENGLAND
email: mail (AT) fiendrecordings.com