SPINTRONICS "Spintronics"
Fiend | CD 052 | CD-R

Spintronics are a brother and sister duo, Sam and Holly Irvine ("The holly in the eye..." see my review of Random Numbers' 'Cantilever' CD-R to enjoy this particularly cheap jape!) who don't seem to get along too well, judging by the look of the cover 'shot'. Sort of thing I've been meaning to do to my own beloved sister for quite some time now (i.e. blow her fuckin' brains out).

18 tracks here with assorted approaches and of a proficiency that makes me reckon that Random Number could learn a lot from this. Digital electronica for digitally electronic people. I always preferred everything anal-log myself, but then I'm old fashioned. Most things up-front digital bore the shit out of me, makes me feel homosexual, desperate to have my little arse torn out by a pack of young chicks with dicks. "Gary, Gary" said lovely old Max Bruno (Tower Records maintenance man, 1990-1992) "These aren't 'chicks with dicks'... these are 'men' with tits" Oh, fuck off Max and leave me alone.

'No Mugs' (track 4) is rather inoffensive, Holly's sedated Lora Logic 'esque warm voice and those slow electro beats conjure up a mix of early 1990's (shit, I've forgotten the girls name. Her anyway) and the Cocteau Twins. Sorry, that's the best I could come up with. Isn't this the type of thing Chris+Casey have been doing for the last 15 or so years? Probably not. I don't know. I don't listen. I like the 'old stuff'.

'Intravenous' is a nice gentle piece with real (?) acoustic guitar (?) I don't know that either. Can't play. So why am I writing reviews then? Don't know. 'Everythings Cool'... what am I supposed to do to this? 'Chill out' (millenium gen words really bug me!), dance (the desperate breath), shoot up, jerk off? All four at once? Tedious. 'Mad one' doesn't last long enough, you could work on this hyperloud / hyperbeat. Now we have got Test Dept / SPK (Metal Dance era) klinking and a 'klanging to electro beaty-weats, more cho-cho, buzz-buzz and digi-do-da's. For me it's like being in a room full of Monet's and Seurat's when all I really want to do is get to the Dali's and Tanguy's and Giger's and Trevor Brown's and Mark Rydens. Not for moi... I seem to be getting into a habit of saying this of late, but at least Spintronics sound professional and Sam and Holly, little loves, can soon retire to Jersey after selling this by the super-guppy load to it's intended audience.
How was that then? Eh? Wad' ya mean 'I'm fired'?! Fuck you!

P.S. Sam and Holly, I did enjoy 'Driftwood' very much. Sounded like one of the six 'songs for Lilith' on Nurse With Wounds triple LP/dbl CD, I want you both now, come to uncle ultra-kamikaze GeroGary and collect your winnings! We could do it on a rug to 'Chinaboy' and 'Distance'... beautifull!

Look's like I found my Dali's, Giger's etc after all.

Paul HARRISON "We Are All Fucking Each Other In Heaven"
Fiend | CD 051 | CD-R

Mark Reeve's cover drawing looks like an orgiastic study for a reworking of Pick-arse-hole's Gurnica... on acid. Is. Paul Harrison runs the Fiend label, also, I presume, on acid. The song titles to this CD-R read as if they were conjured-up. Er... on acid. All this causes me to wonder if I need to do some acid to fully appreciate this disc's contents. Too bad, no acid here, only boring old Prozac and Epilim. Did you know, Japanese teenage girls (yeeeaaahhh!! ! ) buy Prozac on the fucking streets to get high?! They must have to take an awfull lot in one go? My 20mgs a day took me almost 6 months to feel well enough to be able to start writing these confessional reviews again. It is a funny old world. Har. Or maybe I'm just being extremely naive, like perhaps the little misguided loves mix the capsules with booze or something?

Track 1a) Panicking Mink' and b) Gomper Romper'... how many long drawn out time warped minutes of this thumping do I have to endure before I run into the cold, dark street and trade my ass for some acid? Not too many, but I'm 'strong', I'm 'holding back'. These tracks are described in the Fiend list as "intense, trance inducing hyperbeats, circle beats, rave surge samples and spacious caresses". So who am I to argue? And, as I'm not on acid, I guess I'll just have to sit it out.

So, I waited. And waited. And waited. Should I sell my tight beshitted girlish arse out there then? And would you adam' n' eve-it, as soon as I get up to seek a potential Ass Destroyer, track 3, in all its glorious a) & b) sections, came to an abrupt end.

Although track 8 "All My Creations Have Reached Perfection" - (yeah, I know the feeling. It's down hill from then on) would be my chosen 'fave' (if you held Ann Viddyphone to my dick), I really cannot make head nor tail of much of this CD. Could it be that this is the real anti-music we've all been searching for all this time, the real avant-garde or what Mr Spocks 'Music From Outter Space' would really sound like if Star Prak was a factual show?!

Most people cannot understand my being able to stomach Whitehouse, but Whitehouse are quite 'conventional' in a number of ways... they have songs, choruses, duets, solo instrumentals, band members each with his own projected persona, a 'front man' complete with pop/rock/jazz (but not classical!) shades who strips down to the waist as the performance gets into it's stride and begins to hot-up (And what a 'wow 'that is!!). But I'm sorry Paul, it's probably best to give this sort of thing to someone in drug rehab for a fair review. not an old worn out cuckolded glam fag punk industrial metal head has-been wreck of rock'n'roll former self who's got a thing about adolecent looking girls.

I can't be fairer or more honest than that.

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